Share Your Experiences, Ideas and Expertise. A Call For Interviews!
And why I'm paying my kids some real money to read stoic philosophy
Issue 9:
"It was a wild end to the summer. This is probably how most parenting newsletters start :) - but I took a few weeks away and was super touched by readers reaching out to see if I was coming back. I'm just starting this research and exploratory journey, and it's honestly incredible to hear and makes me even more excited about the ideas and interviews I'll share in the months ahead."
Top Of The List:
"The LongRange: A Call For Interviews"
I'm searching for unexpected and overlooked ideas and concepts that parents should know about - and looking to talk to the people behind them. This includes the people bringing a new perspective to getting the next generation ready for a balanced and successful life, healthy and positive relationships, education relevant to the world they will be living in, and which gets them ready for the future of work.
hey could be educators, parents, coaches, status quo disruptors, founders, researchers, writers, grandparents - and especially "recentish" adults who can share what's needed at the front lines of young adult life.
Know someone I should talk to? Get in touch: takethelongrange@gmail.com
New Take = Better Outcome: The Voices Missing From The How We Parent Conversation
I'll be honest; I've been going back and forth on this project.
I work full time. I have three kids. Life is busy. And most of the time, I'm just scrambling along. But I can't shake my interest in the topic and my belief that we need to look at new frameworks around how we get the generation ready for a world that most of us, honestly can't quite imagine and often don’t want to. It's clear we need to change our frameworks and approach, but at the same time, most of us aren't quite sure how or where to do so. That and there's a whole set of voices we just aren't hearing from enough.
Given the information overload we live in, this might seem surprising - but it turns out it's true.
Here’s who’s missing:
Current Frontline Recent Adults
I always want to hear more from people who are about ten years out from having left home and having entered the "real world." What do they wish they had learned earlier? What do they want parents to know about getting their kids ready to make their way into the world? So much of the expert advice we hear is from people pretty removed from the life stage they are advising on, and white that has tons or merit, it also makes you wonder if we are even focusing on the right things.
I work in tech and the Bay Area. That combo means very often, I'm often in meetings with teams where my colleagues are anywhere from just six to sixteen years older than my eldest son - and the conversations I have with them on their life experiences and reflections often leave me rethinking how I see things - especially on the parenting front. And, what could make more sense than asking the cohorts that are just ahead of our kids to reflect on what they needed more or less off and what they wish parents, educators, and their community had known?
But their insights are largely overlooked, and they certainly aren't going to bother sharing them if we don't specifically ask them.
”Successful” Parents We Don’t and Won’t Hear About
Another missing group - all the incredible parents who are taking intentionally new approaches and philosophies to what they are doing and how they are doing it, but unlike parenting "influencers" or "experts," they would never share any of this.
Because, why would they? It isn't their professional brand or business, and for most successful and happy people, social media is a mainly pointless and toxic place.
I get this. But often, when I'm talking to them, I'm struck by the value in what they are trying to do or the approach they are taking.
Which got me thinking, what if we could share the insights without revealing identities? That seems like it would have some real value in expanding beyond the inevitable parenting silos we get in based on our natural and virtual communities.
The Future Shapers and Cultural Disruptors
These are the industry definers and disruptors - who are in some way reshaping the world that our kids will live in, or how they will live, work, think and be. What do they think parents should know about what’s coming up and the impact it will have?
When the world is changing so fast - the more input and data insights we have from a broader range of perspectives, the more likely we are to make the optimal choices because at least we have a better understanding of what’s coming and what we are looking to do.
The LongRange: Positive Parenting Nudge: The Daily Stoic
Five years ago, my partner gave me a copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday, a personal game changer. I’m currently in my fifth year of having read a page a day. My ritual is simple. At some point, I stop and read a page and jot down the date, time, and location along with notes or thoughts that surfaced.
I was so committed to this that I regularly travel with the book. What makes this book so useful is that Ryan Holiday distills down the core ideas of this (often misunderstood) philosophy - which at its core is about the daily coming to terms with the reality that all we can really control is our response to the world and what it brings. And that it is, by mastering our thoughts, emotions, and reactions, we can be best equipped to intentionally and gracefully navigate life.
It's powerful and practical. And something I deeply want my kids to have in their box of life tools. My kids are 16, 13, and 10 years old, and in the past, I had tried other ways of bringing this content into their lives. I tried reading it at the dinner table for instance, which was a fail.
Hence plan B is the payment for reading plan. To pay or not to pay kids to read is an evergreen debate, and I've got no time for it. Whether it's direct incentives (money, candy, privilege, or praise) or fear of the consequences (no screen time, no going out) till it's done - incentive alignment with humans is everything, so why not make it positive and strategic? The milestone payments are designed to hopefully cultivate the habit and I'm hoping the content (which references famous business leaders, athletes, and war heroes and shows how their stoic ability is what helped them survive and thrive) hooks them.
I gave them to the boys on Monday; so far, the 13-year-old is on Day 3. I'm hoping one of them hits the 1K rewards - I'll fore sure see it as some of the best money I've ever spent.
On Point & Interesteing:
"I kept coming back to the question, why aren't we talking about this science, about how we become parents — this critical developmental stage? I think it's because of the staying power of the idea of maternal instinct and the belief that it is science. The Q&A between science and parenting journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer (Is My Kid an Asshole?) and Chelsea Conaboy, author of Mother Brain: How Neuroscience is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood.
This article, "Your Career is Just One-Eighth of Your Life," from The Atlantic, is one of the best frameworks for thinking and discussing careers and working for ourselves and our kids.
"Teaching our kids to think about side doors is much more powerful over the long term because it encourages them to look for different routes or pathways versus just looking at the established doorway or path." For how you can help cultivate this, see The LongRange: The Power of Teaching Kids "Sidedoor" Thinking