The Life Advantages of Teaching Kids "SideDoor" Thinking
Eco-anxiety and the positive data on soft parenting
Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash
Issue: 5
Thanks so much for reading! Here's the what caught my parenting eyes this week:
Top of The List: Along with the summer heat, our kids eco-anxiety is intensifyingThe American Psychological Association defines eco-anxiety as "a chronic fear of environmental doom." And as the summer heat intensifies, research shows that among kids of all ages, eco-anxiety is at an all-time high. A 2021 global online survey of climate anxiety (10,000 teenagers and young adults aged 16-25 in 10 countries) found that: 60% of the young people they felt "very" or "extremely" worried about climate change; 75% said that "the future is frightening" and 56% believe that "humanity is doomed," and 39% were hesitant to have children.
For more, see: How to Talk to Your Kids About Climate Change: Turning Angst into Action; which offers advice to parents of kids from nursery school age to the late-teen years on how they can mitigate anxiety and take productive action on climate change.
New Take = Better Outcome: Turns out "soft" wins over strict
Stricter curfews, monitoring friends, whereabouts and putting firm restrictions in place on smartphones and social media are traditional parental responses for trying to keep our kids safe by looking to control pre-teen and teen behavior. But a study, which appeared in Prevention Science exploring parent-adolescent relationships and substance use, shows traditional techniques like this could backfire when used too much, leading to a rise in high risk behaviors including worse substance use outcomes. Full read: here
The LongRange: The Power of Teaching Kids "SideDoor" Thinking
Our eldest is starting his junior year of highschool (grade eleven). It's the lead-up to college applications and we are in the epicenter of one of the most intense ecosystems on this front (the Bay Area) - and so there are waves of content coming at him and us about pathways to college and careers.
It’s intense. Among the many components of this that I’m struggling with, is that its embedding a linear thinking framework about careers and life into our kids - when their coming work experiences will be anything but.While encouraging them to look at what specific education and accreditations are needed for certain professions or fields is a must, the LongRange view and the lifetime competitive advantage, comes from a “SideDoor” thinking. This is the mindset that says, “If everyone is being taught to follow one pathway towards any goal or outcome, then teaching our kids to think about “sidedoors” is much more powerful.” It encourages them to think about what the different routes or pathways are versus looking at what the established door way in is.
Here's how to cultivate this:
Welcome bad ideas.
The Onion generates over 600 headlines before getting to the 16 winners each week because, as Double Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling said, "The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas." And this means having lots of bad ideas and not rejecting any ideas initially. When every thought is taken seriously, you increase the chance of developing an innovative solution that will work. Sidedoor thinking is ultimately about teaching kids to think creatively. This requires exploring a range of possible paths and options.Ask why.
When your kids offer solutions, regardless of what it is, ask them, “why.” This encourages them to unbundle what they are trying to achieve and forces them to assess their thinking critically.Make it safe to fail.
Create an environment of loving support and project confidence in their ability, judgment, and skills. As parents, this might be the essential work we do, creating that space where they can try, fail, and explore ideas about what they want to do, who they want to be, and how they want to live.
On Point & Interesting:
“Parenting Lessons From Commencement Speeches” And why we should stop telling kids to follow the habits of successful adults. From: The LongRange
Best form of “Tiger Parenting” yet. “12 of the Best Parenting Lessons We Can Learn From Animals.” From: LifeHacker
The LongRange is a curated community of parents, educators, and leaders having a much-needed conversation on parenting in the age of mass disruption.